What happens when somewhere along the road you realize you've lost something? Something incredibly important? Something you can not live without? What happens when you come to the realization that you've lost track of the real you?

You get mad! You get angry! Your heart hurts so bad it feels like your going to die! Every single thing you thought you knew suddenly feels foreign!

Join me as I walk down this path of self enlightenment!

Thursday, September 17, 2009

Round One

I have spent so many hours trying to figure out how to work through this pile of information, and I think that I have finally found a method that will work for everyone! I will write my first set of posts on a particular event and follow up with a post regarding my feelings and if applicable the feelings of any other individual involved.

Since my most recent fight with my father caused me to want to take a closer look at certain aspects of my life, I figured what better place to start! It wasn't really one disagreement that caused the cease in communication between us it was more a converstation followed up a few weeks later with a fight.
Growing up Josh never had anyone teach him how to take care of a car. His only male role model's philosophy on repairing a car goes like this "Run em till they don't run anymore!" So Dad was teaching Josh how to replace his own universal joint. Dad repeatidly told Josh it was a one piece unit and when Josh insitead it was two pieces Dad started to get an attitude with him. Dad's attitude got even worse when he got under the truck to correct Josh only to discover that it was a two piece unit. Within minutes of this discovery Dad took me aside to talk about how Josh treats me.

Dad: "You shouldn't be carrying everything in. He should carry everything in for you."

Me: "Dad, I did carry more in but what I carried in was a lot lighter than the baby so
I had Josh carry the baby in."

Dad got quiet for a few minutes and came back with: "Well when Wanda's at work I cook and clean for her."

Me: "Point?"

Dad: "Well with Josh being laid off he should be doing the dishes."

Me: "Josh does what ever I ask of him and whatever I need. However I'll be damned if I
ask him to do the dishes. I have seen how his mother does them, and chances are high our
cat would do a better job!"

This converstation was by no means a fight but it did change how I looked at Dad. The major portion of our relationship Dad has spent out of state working either in New Hampshire, Seattle, or Texas. Since July 06 when I introduced them Dad has only spent at most ten hours with Josh and I which was broken up into 10 to 60 minute intervals. Personally I think that Dad hasn't spent enough time with us as a couple, or with us at our house to see how we interact as a couple to make a judgement call on how "terrible" I am treated. If I was being mistreated I am certain another family member or a friend would pick up on this and bring it to my attention and the only person expressing concern is Dad.

The events of this particular afternoon caused me to feel defensive of my relationship with Josh when talking with Dad. This feeling that Dad was taking every oppurtunity to either put Josh down or try to get Josh and I fighting set the foundation for our blow out!


  1. Hi there, following you from MBC. Have a great weekend.


  2. Stopping by from MBC Follow Me Club (even though I'm not a mom, so I hope they don't kick me out) to follow and say hello! You have an adorable blog :) I'm a Future Baby Makin' Machine, trying to prepare to become a mommy! Hope you'll share your wisdom with me!

  3. Popping in from MBC!
    Now following your blog...